I'm not a know it all at all. As a matter of fact, one of the reasons I went to graduate school was because I realized how little I knew. I did get that right. I felt like I knew less coming out than I did going in. Ugh! But it was an opportunity to hopefully gain some insight into the land of Christianity. I didn't know where God was taking me. I wanted to serve God. I wanted to be faithful; you know, be in His "perfect will."
Sometimes I got the feeling that the more I understood about God the closer to God I'd be. So I dug and dug...still digging. I read big books, little books (those were better). I took course after course. I did what I believed every other Christian was doing in order to fall right into His perfect will. I learned big words like; soteriology, eschatology and amillennialism. I sat in classes with pastors, professors, teachers, counselors, doctors and wondered just where I'd fit in. I figured that soon enough God would give me a blue print, an outline of His perfect plan for my life. So I waited and waited for His purpose to be delivered to me on that sparkling silver platter.
When I first met my husband. We had a plan. We would date, get engaged, marry and oh yeah, live happily ever after! We knew in what church the ceremony would be held. We knew the time, the guest list and every other detail.
Just like my wedding, I wanted to know exactly how God's will would work out in my life. Like most children I too love surprises, but maybe I needed to make some changes. What if God left out some grand detail. What if God needed my help?
I'm confident that if I knew everything beforehand I would have tried to make things happen sooner, perhaps before I was ready. He alone holds the master plan. After all, He is the One who "made the moon to mark its seasons; the sun knows its time for setting."
Often times we are made to feel as though we must know everything in order to be in His "perfect will." He is not obligated to tell me anything. He reveals. He withholds. He unfolds. He alone purposes. And yes, He surprises!
So if you ask me where I see myself in five years I might give you a good guess, but only God knows for certain. I am in God's will, not because I know everything in advance, but because I yield and He alone fulfills His purpose for me and I'm not just ok with that but I'm relieved...and that's no surprise!
"I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills His purpose for me."