I pulled the plug and threw on something comfy (because who cares about cute at this stage)? I ripped open my goodie bag, slapped on my aromatherapy lotion and a few squirts of body mist, all the while smiling at the thought that something so small could bring such tranquility. Ah, yes, and do those candles really do anything? I confess, I'm all about finding comfort and rest these days. It's no longer hip, cool jeans or shoes. A hot cup of coffee, a blanket that's nice to the touch and thick nerdy socks do me just fine. I've purchased Lavender Chamomile and other fragrances in hopes that the packages' claims could be true. They promise to sweep me off to la la land so I can awaken feeling wonderful, refreshed and well rested.
It's been a little over five years since Richard and I said, "I do" to this roller coaster ride called military life. STOP! WAIT! Don't we get a rehearsal first? No! Nothing could truly prepare us for what lay ahead. Saying farewell to family, friends and familiarity was sobering. No matter how confident we were about this being the journey to which God called us, hesitation lingered in the background.
I packed up the car and kissed Texas goodbye all the while singing, "did you ever have the feeling that you wanted to go...and then you had the feeling that you wanted to stay?" We hit the ground running...no, sprinting. In two months I had to learn everything I could about the Army before my husband deployed. I was anxious, scared and felt alone. There was no more running to family or friends in time of need. I had to build relationships and fast. I was faced with the kids' first day of school, sleepless nights, countless trips to the ER, appointments, surgeries, loneliness, etc.
Time has passed and often I grin with tears and delight, because in the beginning I thought that the only way to experience peace, joy and rest was to surround myself with familiar things. Any peace I desire will have to come from the One who can be everywhere, because familiarity can desert us and we don't know where this Army life will take us. "I am with you...I am your God."
Joy isn't dependent upon circumstances but upon immersing myself in Him because "you will fill me with joy in your presence."
Sufficient rest will have to come from Him who is not bound by time. I no longer depend on a perfect 8 hours of sleep...is that even possible? And NO I won't be getting rid of any of my comfy amenities at home, but I do realize these are temporary things that will not last forever. My true comfort and rest isn't in a bottle or a robe or even a hot cup of coffee. It isn't in anything found here. It's in someone. We may not see Him with our eyes or feel him with our hands, but every once in a while He whispers to our hearts...
"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."